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Years of Resolutions...

 
     
       
 

Does this sound familiar?....

 

 RESOLUTION #1:

1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year.


2000: I will read at least 10 books a year.


2001: I will read 5 books a year.


2002: I will finish The Pelican Brief


2003: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.


2004: I will read at least one article this year.


2005: I will try and finish the comics section this year.



RESOLUTION #2:

1999: I will get my weight down below 180.


2000: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.


2001: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.


2002: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.


2003: I will work out 5 days a week.


2004: I will work out 3 days a week.


2005: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.



RESOLUTION #3:

1999: I will not spend my money frivolously.


2000: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.


2001: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.


2002: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 1999.


2003: I will be totally out of debt by 2000.


2004: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2001.


2005: I will try to be out of the country by 2006.



RESOLUTION #4:

2002: I will try to be a better husband to Jennifer.


2003: I will not leave Jennifer.


2004: I will try for a reconciliation with Jennifer.


2005: I will try to be a better husband to Christine.



RESOLUTION #5:

2002: I will stop looking at other women.


2003: I will not get involved with Christine.


2004: I will not let Christine pressure me into another marriage.


2005: I will stop looking at other women.



RESOLUTION #6:

2002: I will not let my boss push me around.


2003: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.


2004: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.


2005: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.


RESOLUTION #7:

2002: I will not get upset when Michael makes jokes about my baldness.


2003: I will not get annoyed when Michael kids me about my toupee.


2004: I will not get angry when Michael tells the guys I wear a girdle.


2005: I will not speak to Michael.


RESOLUTION #8:

2002: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.


2003: I will not touch the bottle before noon.


2004: I will not become a "problem drinker".


2005: I will not miss any AA meetings.


RESOLUTION #9:

2002: I will see my dentist this year.


2003: I will have my cavities filled this year.


2004: I will have my root canal work done this year.


2005: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.



RESOLUTION #10:

2002: I will go to church every Sunday.


2003: I will go to church as often as possible.


2004: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.


2005: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.

 
     
     
     
     
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